Every time things seem under control, the master player god amazes me with a new arrow from his quiver. I must say that even after being part of this super-game called LIFE for more than twenty years now, its mysterious ways of delivering melancholy and euphoria simultaneously continues to fascinate me and I am left to wonder, what’s next??
A couple of days back I lost a good friend (at least I considered him/her to be so) to the realms of oblivion, and I am quite sure that he/she doesn’t even have the slightest hint of this, for like a gentleman I had made a quiet exit. Such is the state of oblivion where the presence or absence of certain unimportant things are hardly noticeable until someone shouts in your ear” hey! This thing ain’t there anymore”. We had worked together for than 2 years but the outcome was inevitable, for the little things that gave strength to the tender thread of friendship had vanished into thin air. Coming back to life’s mystic ways, the introspection that followed helped me rediscover myself. I had stopped treading on the tortuous path of this friendship. Fresh & rejuvenated, I could clearly see my target and the path that lead to it. I precisely knew who was a true friend and who wasn’t. This great discovery in itself was a cause for great euphoria after the forlorn start to the day.
For the not so subtle minded people, to whom this farce of self-discovery seems trivial, let me give another example. I soak in pride and joy when people around me laud my brother’s commendable achievement of securing an AIR of 1&7 in cbse-pmt and AIIMS entrance respectively and keep pestering me for treats. I happily oblige them to celebrate the success, but behind all these rosy things life’s obnoxious face pops up shamelessly. My invincible little brother is suffering from some social phobia & certain other obsessive and compulsive disorders, psychological disorders that he has been fighting since class X, being alone for the first time things are going out of control and most part of his 1st month post success, has been spent in a psychological clinic or home instead of AIIMS. Life can’t be more ironical than this. Every time I am back from one of such treats I am calling him, telling him to fight against the evils that cripple him, trying to make him understand that no one expects him to top every list, to drop his plan of quitting AIIMS. Asking him to simply continue studying, to do it for the sake of his own dreams, for us and if not for anything else just do it for the sake of doing it.
Amidst all this mayhem, the helplessness seems to grow, so much so that one day my most beloved possession, my own brother calls me up and says,” Dada, for the sake of your own life and career, forget me, my mind is highly unstable and will continue troubling all of us. I have tried hard but can’t come out of this fear.” I only wish he could fathom the depth of this love, one which leaves us restless on seeing the slightest sign of despair on the other’s face to talk of something like this.
Life’s dualities puzzle me, baffle me and sometimes pain me but then I am not a pessimist. I come out stronger and more determined each time. I love these additional hurdles that life places in my path for it helps me to be more adept at handling tough things in life. Infact this has fostered and nurtured my best virtues, the never say die attitude, the determination to conquer it all and the energy to buzz around and stay focused even in the most despairing moment. I know that like Maupassant’s short stories, life’s little stories have a twist in the tale but they all have a happy ending.
The dreamer still believes that hope and dreams are the two best gifts of God. His advice : Never let your dreams to be tied down by the clauses of practicability and plausibility and never let your hopes to be weighed down by hopelessness.
